Understanding Attachment Without Turning Yourself Into a Diagnosis If you have ever stared at your phone because someone has not texted you back and, within about seven minutes, your brain has gone from "They are probably busy" to "They are mad at me" to "They are definitely leaving me," you have experienced how quickly relationships can activate our nervous systems. On the other hand, maybe you are the person who sees three unanswered texts and thinks, "Great. I have time to myself," only ...read more

Social media has gotten so wrapped up in everyday life that it is hard to remember what things felt like back when we could not instantly peek at what everyone else was doing, thinking, celebrating, arguing about, or eating for dinner. Decades ago, keeping up with friends meant making a phone call, dropping by their house, or sending a handwritten letter. Now, a quick scroll before you even finish your morning coffee drops you right into the middle of hundreds of lives. Our phones have turned ...read more

In my previous piece, I explored the catharsis of listening to music and the comfort of finding a song that seems to know something about you before you have found the words yourself. Music can meet us in grief, joy, loneliness, nostalgia, anger, or longing and somehow make those feelings easier to carry. Sometimes another person's voice helps us understand our own. For me, however, there has always been another side to that relationship with music. I do not only want to listen to it. I ...read more

Some songs hit you right in the gut before you even realize what is happening. A sudden drop in a melody or a crack in a singer's voice can pull up old grief, the feeling of missing someone, or a specific kind of nostalgia that has been sitting under the surface for years. People do not usually throw on a specific record just to fill empty noise. We use sound to ground our chaotic inner lives. We crank up a heavy bassline to give our anger somewhere to go or put on a quiet acoustic track to ...read more

The Pressure to Be Everything for Everyone There is a quiet, heavy expectation placed on women that we should carry everything on our shoulders without ever letting the strain show. We are expected to nurture, support, succeed, remain emotionally available, keep everything organized, and somehow maintain a sense of calm through the entire storm. While these pressures land on women in every season of life, motherhood amplifies them in a way that feels nearly impossible to describe. Becoming a ...read more

The Kind of Love We Spend Our Lives Searching For Once we sit down and do the grueling, unglamorous work of healing, a simple question surfaces: what does real, healthy love look like? Most of us waste years chasing partners because we are secretly looking for a rescue. We want someone to step in, make us feel secure, sweep away our doubts, and heal our past for us. But real love does not work like a rescue mission. It starts when two people who are already standing on their own feet decide ...read more

Looking for Love When the Real Need Is Healing A lot of us walk around believing that finding the right partner will fix our lives. We tell ourselves that once we meet someone who truly gets us, the constant background anxiety will vanish, the loneliness will stop hurting, and all those old emotional bruises will magically heal. But as comforting as a good partner can be, a relationship simply cannot do the heavy lifting of personal healing. Love makes life richer, but it cannot rewrite past ...read more

Childhood Is Not Meant to Be a Race There was a time when childhood felt open and unhurried. You stayed outside until the streetlights came on, built forts out of couch cushions and cardboard boxes, created elaborate worlds with whatever toys you had, and found joy in the simplest moments. You counted down the days until the holidays because the magic felt completely real. You were not worried about what was trending online, whether your appearance was perfect for a camera, or if you were ...read more

A Conversation That Has Shifted Over Time Cannabis has become one of the most polarizing topics in mental health. Not long ago, society largely viewed it as a dangerous substance with significant risks and very few benefits. Today, the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction. Many people now portray cannabis as completely harmless, entirely natural, and perfectly safe for everyday use. Questioning that narrative often makes people uncomfortable. As a psychotherapist, I see this tension ...read more

When Positivity Stops Being Helpful Most of us have encountered toxic positivity at some point, even if we did not have a name for it at the time. It usually comes from a good place, well-meaning friends, family members, coworkers, or even that harsh inner voice telling us to pull ourselves together. On the surface, it sounds supportive. It sounds hopeful. Yet instead of lifting us up, it often leaves us feeling unseen and alone. If you have ever been vulnerable about a painful experience ...read more